My Life and Past

My Life


Where do you start when you begin to tell the story of yourself? I couldn’t even begin to tell you gentle reader. I am not an author nor am I by any means a subject matter expert on anything literary. What I am is a simple person, a simple man, a warrior, and a climber, so let’s start in the beginning.

In the year of our lord nineteen hundred and seventy six, I was born. I remember it just like yesterday, it was a sunny day when I happened to come into this world just to get hit on the ass by the Dr. I was born in New Jersey and very soon after my parents had the good sense to leave that god forsaken land of mass humanity and move to West by God West Virginia. Which is where I grew into the strapping, opinionated, adventure seeking, adrenaline craving, and sometimes self centered asshole that I was for many years? I grew to man hood playing in my back yard which was 100 Ackers of mountain and rock with trees everywhere. I loved it and grew well. But all too soon it was time to head out on my own which I did soon after graduating from the finest institution of learning that there was, Circleville High School. So it was away with the books and the hair and into the Army for me!

The next stage of my life, which I will call the Army Years, starts now. I said “Good Bye Mountains and Hello Ft. Knox”.

It was the first time that I flew and my destination was Ft. Know KY and basic training. I figured what an adventure, what a vacation this will be. I’m in good shape, I can shoot, move and communicate. What else is there that they can teach me that I don’t know all ready, I’m a mountain boy I cut my teeth shooting and running in the mountains. Enter Drill Sergeant Parris and Drill Sergeant Howensworth, otherwise known as the Old Man and the Pitt Bull! They were very quick to tell me that I and, all of my mate’s didn’t know shit and that we were all just a bunch of snot nosed, whining, momma’s boys. But not to fear, they would make men out of us, or kill us trying. It was at this time that I learned the right way, the wrong way, and the Army way of doing things. Now I’m not going to sit here and tell you that the Army way is the right way of doing things, but I will tell you that the Army way is the way to not find yourself in the front leaning rest position. Which, I myself, have NEVER found to be very restful at all. So here I am I am a Soldier. I would like to take a minute here just to thank my Drill Sergeants for making me the man that I am today. A man that stands for something, a man that has the courage to lead and the wisdom to follow. A man that will stand on the line, a man that will stand for the weak that can’t stand for themselves, a man of integrity, a friend. I wish at this point that I could say that these words explained what I was at that time, but to do so I would be lying to you. It was not until many years later that I became some of these things, and I still cannot say that I am consistently all of these things. But I do try very hard every single day of my life. But I am getting way ahead of myself. Let us return to Ft. Knox.

It is finely graduation day! It is our day; it is our time to shine! We are going to march onto that field, in front of our loved ones, and we are going to shine. We ARE the meanest mother’s in the valley, it is OUR valley. We are going to set the world on fire, kick ass and take names. There is not another unit in the world that can ever hold a candle to us. We are the future; harm will not come upon the United States on OUR watch. We are defenders of God, Freedom and the American way of life. We are the ones that stand on the line. We will not fail. That is where our minds were at. We were ready.

Now begins the next years of my life, which I will call the Texas years.

Enter the real Army and the real world. I think that the fall from grace started at the airport in Louisville where we decided that the first thing to do was buy a pack of smokes at the store while waiting for our flight out. I and two of my mates were all headed for Ft. Bliss TX. Then we were told that we were being up graded to first class due to an under booking on the flight. So here we are, the second time that any of us had flown, and riding up front, first class, yup that’s what we are first class. Our Drill sergeants had told us that we were first class right after graduation and now we were seeing it for our self. First Class! Where the meals are good and the drinks are free. Wait a minute here, did you just say that the drinks are free? Should we even try it, what are the consequences? None of us are 21 here, should we even dare to try it? Hell yes, we are Soldiers, and Soldiers drink, right? But who was going to try first? Who was going to try it? Who was going to step up to the plate and see if it was safe for everyone else? Well kind reader, I am sad to tell you that that person was I. I asked for a beer, a Bud Light for me please. Now this was by far not my first taste of beer by any stretch of the imagination, but it was my first on an airplane and also my first in over 16 weeks. It was good, REALLY GOOD! I had taken the lead and my friends had followed. Soon we were quite tipsy at 20,000 feet. It was great we were rock stars! But oh my god we are landing now. What do we do now? Where do we go? Wait a minute; Drill Sergeant had said something about going to some desk and calling the post and that they would send someone out to pick us up. Ok, here we go, there is the desk. But wait, who is that starched, craggy old bastard over there that is staring at us like he had just came home and found us in bed in a position of fornication with his wife and his mother? Enter our first experience with a Master Sergeant. A member of a time honored corps known as the back bone of the Army, who after letting us “Rest” in the aforementioned, front leaning rest position. Took us to the USO and gave us the number to call for the post staff duty officer who sent a driver to get us.

Enter another time in my life, which will be known from this point on as, “The Texas Years, and Red”. Now my dear gentle reader, you may be thinking to yourself, “Pyro has gone off the reservation; he has departed from all good senses”. Well gentle reader, my response to you is this, that information is classified as Ultra Top Secret, and you don’t have the need to know. So leave it alone, forget you ever heard about it, and as a matter of fact forget you ever heard of me! Because I was never here!



Ok gentle reader, the story does continue, but just not today. I will update you in the future with what is going on today and as time permits and if anyone really gives a flying crap I may just tell you some more story’s from my past.